Chapter 1
One more flight. The tremor again. I squeeze my hand into a fist before anyone notices, especially me. I’m almost home. The whole trip so far is uneventful. Good, even. I cleared up the decision in Baltimore—business as usual, and on the last leg back to San Diego.
Denver is the usual hustle and bustle I notice as I sit in the black Naugahyde chair. Are they still made of Naugahyde? The chrome frame doesn’t indicate. Certainly, can’t be leather. The others are all plugged in, and I will be as well as soon as I find my earbuds. I can listen better to Emily that way. I can hear beyond her voice to the tenor of her mood. She’s done so well the past month. Her anxiety is finally under control, or so I hope. The boys even sound like they’re caring for things around the house like I’d asked. As much as you can ask a five- and seven-year-old. At least they’re kind boys. Not the kind to give their mother grief like I did as a kid.
It isn’t her fault she’s so fragile these days. After her father’s death, she seemed fine. She smiled and nodded, just like expected if you asked her. But I knew something was off. I was too busy to really pay attention. She wasn’t lying exactly; Emily would never lie, but a silent switch had triggered within her, and she was anything but fine. I think I knew it before she did. There was even an odd smell about her that I couldn’t place when I finally put work aside and came to bed late at night. And then one day, she didn’t pick up the boys from school. The secretary called my office, and later that night, after a frantic search, I found her sitting in the car in the pouring rain in front of the grocery store, completely crumbled.
A piece of me died that day. Emily’s literally a part of my soul, and I had no idea she was in so much pain. Grief is an awful thing. It silently gnaws on your insides. And though she couldn’t tell me what was happening, it was the death of a part of her that I loved so much, it killed a little piece of us both. Now, I can’t leave her for long. It’s more me than her. I can’t bear to let her sink that low again without me there to hold her up. I promised to catch her, and I’ll be damned if I let her down again.
So this is a quick trip I’d been putting off for months. She promised me she was fine before I left and to stop treating her like a delicate flower. But what she doesn’t understand is that…I’m the delicate flower. She’s my petal. I know it’s cheesy, but I can’t…won’t, do life without her. Not without my, Em.
I clear my throat as I fish the lost earbud from my satchel pocket and snug it into my ear. Enough of that. Emily’s fine. One more trip, and a quick drive to the house from the airport. No more than four hours from now. I scan the departure board while thumbing home on my phone. So far, my next flight says on time. All is well, as I hear Em pick up the other line.
“Hi babe!”
“Henry, you made it. How was your flight?”
See. She sounds fine. Em’s fine… “Easy. Not even turbulent.”
“Good. I saved you some King Ranch Casserole in case you're hungry when you get home.”
“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.”
“I know it’s your favorite. The boys sure loved it.”
“Listen, don’t wait up. I’ll just sneak in. You need your sleep.”
“Henry…”
“I’m serious, you have to get up early and get them off to school early, it’s Thursday, and they have early morning karate practice. See, I remembered.”
“I meant to say, I miss you, and you’re welcome to wake me…when…you…arrive…”
She was smiling. I could feel it through the ether. And now, so was I.
“Oh…oh, I see. Well in that case…” I lowered my voice like a teenage boy because I was certain the hairy middle-aged guy sitting next to me knew what my wife was hinting at. “I’m on my way…”
“I love you, Henry.”
My voice suddenly graveled. “I love you more.”
That’s when the lights died, and the call ended.
“Em?” I said in the dark amongst a sea of stunned blue screens.
